In exactly four weeks, I will be the mother of a kindergartner. Jenna is excited, but I have mixed emotions. I know she will be fine. She is a very smart, caring little lady. But it is me I am worried about. As much as she drives me crazy, as much as I long for some time away, (even if only for a 20 minute jog) I will miss her terribly.
For five years I have been Mommy, the one and only. The one to pick her up and wipe her tears when she falls, the one to help with art projects, the one who knew the answers to everything--at least she believed the answers I gave her. In four short weeks, that will change. In four short weeks, school will start. And in four short weeks, Jenna will begin to spread her wings. She will be taught to pick herself up and brush herself off when she falls, start over when a mistake is made, and ask questions until she is sure she knows the right answer.
Of course, I know she will still need Mommy--my love, guidance, and support. Of course, I know she will always be my little girl. But for some reason I help but feel like this is the beginning to the end. She starts kindergarten this year and before I know it she will be talking about boys and driver's licenses (and that's as far as I'll go for right now because I can't even begin to think about what comes after that.)
Don't get me wrong--I am super excited for Jenna. I am excited for her to make new friends, watch her learn all there is to learn and see my sweet baby grown into a wonderful person. But I am sad for me. I am sad to lose the sweet innocent little lady I have had for the past 5 years. So for the next four weeks I am going to hold on tight. I am going to hold on to every last minute I have with my sweet girl before school starts; because in four weeks I probably won't be able to see through the tears to watch her get on the bus.
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